In life we all aim to do certain ambitions, personal or otherwise. When I was younger I had many ambitions, football player, police officer, game tester, the list was endless. In reality these wouldn’t be hard to do, for a normal person that is. Don’t get wrong, someone with a disability could do them but in a limited way depending on what is required.
Lately I have been in a drought of with ideas for my life, it’s not always easy to think of ideas at the best of times but when it’s ambitions for life you do tend to hit a brick wall. I am guessing my depression doesn’t help matters, always living in fear of the “what ifs” or insecurities that keep us from doing something life changing.
Depression’s a bitch, living with it is like a kid watching over you on top an ant hill with a magnification glass waiting to burn you. I live with it everyday, even though it eats me inside I still try to build a meaningful but loving life, mostly focusing on what I can do for other people. I know people say “put yourself first” but to me it seems selfish and I could never bring myself to do that.
With many skills under my belt and many years of experience, common sense should kick in and say “you have it made” but in reality, common sense doesn’t always dictate what your ambitions will be or what you will achieve. I have been given many chances to make something of myself and I have always had to turn them down because of sickness, honestly with todays hard-working culture I wouldn’t be able to keep up and it would make me even more sick as time goes on.
This is why I am stuck in rutt, many skills and ideas, and a passion for helping others. I guess one day something will come up but until that day I will go through the endless day-to-day depression, along with the daily grinds of “what ifs”. As the old saying goes “Every Dog Has it’s Day”.
In a recent publication it has been highlighted that 1 in 5 people in the UK who suffer with eating disorders are male.
There are many causes of anorexia in both men and women the most highlighted cause is celebrity magazines. Often most people aspire to look like these glamorous models and because some of therm look really thin they try to change the way they look.
This isn’t the only cause of anorexia there are many highlighted cases of bullying and mental disorders that has triggered this nasty disorder.
I will discuss my story that has recently been published online by many major news outlets.
I am a 23 years of age and I suffer with a disability called cerebral palsy. For many years I suffered with bullying because I was big and that I was different due to my disability.
When I was 13 I got so depressed about the abuse I was getting and it sent me on a downward spiral that hit me with such stress I couldn’t handle it anymore and this abuse I got wasn’t just your normal bullying it was physical and mental abuse I got everyday.
Ten years on I still suffer with my disorder and I live off a diet of custard, mousses and complan replacement drinks because I fear choking on food.
Not only do I suffer with many health issues but I suffer with many phobias that can make me helpless at times and I hide away because I mentally can’t cope.
I won’t sit here and say it is easy on anyone with this disorder because there is such a level of stress it can cause and unlike other people say it’s not just a case of just eating because that isn’t how it works. This is a mental disorder and depending on the complexities it isn’t always easy to cure, everyone suffers with it in different ways and for different reasons.
If you are suffering with anorexia don’t suffer in silence try to seek the help you need to put you on the road to recovery. Some words of wisdom I always live by: You make your own destiny in life and you will find the right path to walk down to a better life.
I have attached the links below to my news story and I hope you enjoy reading them.
The Sun Manorexia Marc
The Daily Male Anorexia Marc
Recently I have been diagnosed with arthritis in my left shoulder, upper back and neck. Something I wasn’t expecting to happen so early in my life but given my existing health problems it was bound to happen.
Over the years I have always suspected I would get arthritis in some form because I have found it harder to do simple tasks but personally I was expecting to get arthritis in my ankles or knees as I get pain in them all the time and knowing my luck I probably have but i won’t know until I have proper tests.
The hardest task will be how I adjust to the situation and how I can make things easier to prevent anymore damage to the affected areas. I guess the first step I will take is to look for special equipment to aid me, such as a tea tipper for the kettle.
If anyone has any ideas then drop me them in the comment section, needless to say like everyone else I just need to get on with it because there’s no taking back the damage now.
A phobia is defined as a “fear” of situations or objects, in medical terms it is an anxiety disorder. I suffer with many phobias that leave me fearful of basically everything and I have had these for around 10 years now.
Over the years I have seen many specialists to try to cure my phobias but nothing has worked, seeing a specialist is all well and good if they can help you work out what triggers the phobia but on the other hand their help can only go so far.
Curing a phobia isn’t easy and from experience it can make matters worse but of course this all depends on how complex your phobias are. Taking baby steps is the key to curing any phobia, think of yourself like a baby duck learning how to swim for the first time. You wouldn’t just jump in and expect to know how to swim, you would ease yourself into the situation and learn how to do it.
Always remember everyone is different, don’t dismiss any help offered because it may offer you some help but keep in mind the only person that can help you overall is yourself. You have to build your own road to recovery, no one can make that road for you.