STRESS AND MORE stress, and that’s putting it nicely. On Friday I was bombarded with texts, calls, and emails from people whom have started to get annoyed with me because I haven’t been around much due to the anxiety disorder that is plaguing me every day.
The attitude from some of them was astonishing, apparently “I can just get over it,” and I can stop the childish behaviour when I want. Seems silly, an anxiety disorder can hit anyone for any reason, no matter what age you are. I can’t help, but think people just want things to go their way no matter what happens to me, it’s all about them. This isn’t aimed at just one person, believe me, after the incident Friday, my iPhone block list has gone from four to thirty. As you can see that is a huge jump.
So, let’s discuss Friday. Thanks to all the stress, I am now single, and I had such a serve panic attack that shot my heart up to 162 beats per minute—dangerously high, and could have caused unthinkable things. I know I let things get to me, but that’s because I have a soul and I care too much, and I take things to heart. Does that make me a bad person? Of course it doesn’t, it just means people play on my vulnerability to get what they want, and cause me unneeded stress to get their own way.
As I write this, I am away with clouds and high as a kite because of my medication. These medications are to help me calm down and to make me less anxious. Even though I don’t condone the getting high method, but if you need it to help you, then medically I don’t see any harm in it. And, I need to add, my medication is legal, and it’s prescribed to keep me calm, and to control the pain I deal with on a daily basis due to my cerebral palsy.
Anyhow, as you can tell, I’ve had a bad few days, but what does it matter? Not many people really care, and I know those twenty or more people couldn’t care what they have caused. But, onwards and upwards as they say. I will try to blog when I can, but it might be on a limited schedule.
Thanks to everyone whose supported me, and personal thanks go out to my close friends whom have stuck by me even in my darkest hour.
Stay blessed, and stay well.