16 April 2013:
Choke, choke, choke, that’s what I have had to put up with during the night. I don’t know what’s causing it, it’s like my body wants to kill me in my sleep. As each hour went by, I was rudely woken up by a choking cough, it was happening every two hours and in the end I gave up trying to sleep because it was starting to annoy me.
Anyway, with a long day ahead, I stayed up and watched television. I had nothing else to do, I couldn’t play the guitar because it was 4am and I don’t think the neighbors would appreciate it, and I couldn’t do writing either because my mind was all over the place due to my medication.
17 April 2013:
So, it turns out that I went on a downer after writing that last paragraph. I don’t know what came over me, it was like someone took over my body. I ended up spending all yesterday wrapped up in bed, I couldn’t be bothered facing the world. While I was in bed, I constantly thought silly things, blaming myself for things that weren’t my fault. I even wrote a three page document about how I feel, I haven’t read it back yet, but I do know I had a few swear words in it. I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but I always worry, and I guess loneliness is getting the better of me.
Anyway, on to today. The day started out with a walk to McDonalds to get some McFlurries, I was in need of a real sugar boost. While I was walking down, I thought I would text Cassie (sister) to see if she was at home, she was home, so I decided to pick up the McFlurries first, and then I will walk over to Cassie’s to eat them.
When I picked up the McFlurries, I put them down on the table to peel off the Monopoly stickers. As I pulled all four stickers off, I found that I had won a free big Mac meal and I also won a free cheeseburger, it has been a long time since I had won anything and I was surprised my luck was changing, but even though I won, I couldn’t eat that kind of food anyway because I can’t swallow it.
So, to be brief, I arrived at Cassie’s and I sat down with my McFlurries & a cup of tea. While I was eating, I spotted Amber (niece) was eying up my ice-cream, so being the good uncle that I am, I decided to share it with her. This was a hilarious task because I was shaking like a leaf and the ice-cream was going all over Ambers face. Once she had the first taste of the ice-cream, she went nuts for more, all I could hear was Amber saying yum, yum, yum. After a couple of spoonfuls, I decided to let Cassie feed her some of the spare McFlurry I had. She didn’t have all of it, but I think Amber had other ideas about that because she loved it. When she got to half way, we decided to stop because the chances are, she will throw it up later, and that’s one thing we didn’t want to happen.
Once Amber was finished with the ice-cream, she wanted to suck on my knuckle because she is teething. When she was gumming on my knuckle, I could feel the full force of her gums on my knuckle. I didn’t mind because she is teething, but she certainly has a good chomp on those gums.
After thirty minutes went by, I decided to head home. I was starting to get hungry and I needed some painkillers. As I walked home, I was enjoying the peace, all the kids were in school, and for some reason there wasn’t many people about, which made it extra peaceful.
So, to be brief, I got home and started writing the blog. I haven’t done much of the blog recently, it isn’t like I haven’t had the time, I think my depression has been causing me some issues this week, but I think it will pass soon. I did have some good news today, I had my first revenue payment from my publisher, okay it wasn’t much, but it was a start. I have been writing for over two years, it is about time I had some sort of payment after all this time.
Anyhow, on that positive note, I must sign off. I am starting to feel very tired, and I need to find something to eat, even though after four McFlurries earlier, I am starting to feel a bit sick.